Homer: What are you guys laughing at? Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Homer: The internet wasn’t created for mockery. Homer: But we’re the more powerful country for a few more years! Who needs that? Homer: One of you ate cans, one of you ate health food. Practical and alluring. 3. Homer: Eh. View Entire Discussion (9 Comments) More posts from … Homer: Oh. Well, you have a gambling problem! Do you have a gambling problem? Wait a minute. Homer: The Nobel Prize? Up six and a quarter. Lisa's feelings are hurt when she discovers that Homer bet against her in the championship match. Lisa: “And anytime I hear the wind blow it will whisper the name Edna.” Homer’s Brain: Okay, don’t use reverse psychology. They’ll do something with you that they hate? Krusty Teeny! Homer: English? He was just poured into that uniform. Lisa: Dad! I’m surprised about Maggie. Skinner: By the way, I enjoyed the photos of your trip to Yosemite. Definitely no. We’ll definitely have a talk with the boy. I need your help. The toaster’s never lied to me before. This is the worst place yet. By the time Bart’s eighteen we’re gonna control the world. Voice: Animotion. Here are some numbers for therapists who can help" or "I think you should get help for your compulsive gambling. Homer: You couldn’t be more wrong, Lisa. I forgot already. Are you a problem gambler? My birthday’s coming up and Girltech Turbo Diaries are in stores now. Homer: You always gotta work blue, doncha Marge? Marge: Are you crazy? I’m never going to England. We’ll split a room. He becomes a germophobe, stops cutting his hair and nails, and forces Smithers to wear a hospital gown to protect him from germs. I hope you understand. I’d rather die. There’s your answer, Fish Bulb. What happens inside the brain of a gambling addict when they make a bet - and can the secret to their addiction be found within the brain itself? He does open a casino in his treehouse, featuring Milhouse and Jimbo as entertainers. Yet in spite of his many moral shortcomings, there is one way in which the Simpson family patriarch has continuously outshined many of his sitcom brethren over the last 31 seasons. Bart: You got a drinking problem? Lenny : Oh, I know what it is. Homer: Have a good time. Anything. Special Guest Voices Homer persuades Marge to admit that she has a gambling problem, and she considers therapy, but Homer objects, claiming that it's too expensive. And Dondelinger took that life away from me. And when a woman says everything’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. Homer’s Brain: No, the other secret. Homer: “P.S. Hee hee hee. Bart: Dad, if you take me to Vegas I’ll teach you how to cheat at blackjack. Among his many defects are alcoholism, sleeping on the job, a general disregard for the law, a gambling problem, and child abuse in the regular strangling of Bart. Homer: You’ll have to speak up. Homer: Marge, you’re a tool of the dog house makers. Wait. Now back away from Burns and I will let your dog live. She wins and almost immediately becomes addicted to gambling, soon becoming a slot-jockey. Homer: Son, while your mother and little mother are out I’m going to let you in on a deep dark family secret. Marge: Do you see towels? Homer: Really? Up one and one half. During a town meeting, Principal Skinner pitches the idea of opening a casino. Honk honk punch. Uh oh. She does not help Lisa make a Florida costume for her geography pageant, so Homer makes a primitive costume of "Floreda" for her (which is not just misspelled, it is also shaped like California). It could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart. Let me have half of it. It’s uter-US, not uter-YOU. Marge: Forget it! Now I’m afraid that if I stop talking I’ll die. Homer: It’s one word. Let’s just say fame was like a drug. {menacingly} We’ll change a lot of things. Bart: What’s your system? Homer: And how. Homer: That baby proofing crook wanted to sell us covers for the electrical outlets. Someone’s tucked in to an insane degree. Homer: God bless those pagans. Homer: There once was a rapping tomato Homer: “Thing I want to do before I die.” “Pitch in the Negro Leagues.” I can think of at least two problems with that. Bart: Yep. - Oh, yeah. Homer: Marge, they’re just hams, okay? Bart: “Where’s the beef?” What the hell’s that supposed to mean? Marge: I don’t like you ogling her! Lady: These things happen. I don’t notice the color of people’s eyes. It certainly answered a lot of my questions about wang enhancement. Marge: Maybe we should talk to a financial planner. Homer: What kind of example would I be if I didn’t take revenge on things? His dinner’s getting all cold and eaten. Aren’t I great?” But he’s just like you or me, or Jesus over there. And the value of nothing.” Maude Flanders: My eyes have been soiled! Children may be hurt due to pent-up anger. I’ll kill us. Remember when I got caught stealing all those watches from Sears? But that’s America’s wang. What is the one true religion? Easy enough, right? The one that says, “Don’t worry about it. Homer: Oh. Marge: Get a rope, Bart. Surgeon: Okay, count backwards from ten. Homer: Heh heh heh. To overcome your gambling problems, you’ll also need to address these and any other underlying causes as well. Change me back to the blissful boob I was. Have you tried to win back money you have lost (chasing losses)? Were there Oompa Loompas? Homer: Well thank you honey! Homer, "Sure. - Well, you have a gambling problem! Sensitive love letters are my specialty. Marge: Oo! Gas break honk. Voice: FOX Broadcasting. Homer: Heh heh. Homer: Sure. Homer: I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Plus a few other interesting things if you end up digging far enough. Homer: You mean the mob only did me a favor to get something in return? Sideshow Bob: How can one ordinary man have so many enemies? He eventually agrees to let it go as long as she makes the effort to stop heading back to the casino. Lisa: Mom. Marge: Homey, are you as attracted to me as you were when we met? Homer: She will be. Tab Spangler: You’re a catastrophe! Homer: Woo hoo! Bart: Yeah. Homer: That’s not how I remember it. Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. Burns Sex sells. With today’s modern cars you can’t get lost. The cause of—and solution to—all of life’s problems. Homer: Oh, that sounds too complicated. Do you know where your children are? All food tastes like barf now. Homer: Shame on all of you! It’ll be just like the time they kicked me out of the sporting goods store. Mild-mannered Homer Simpson. Marge: Mmm, I don’t think he’s married, Homer. Homer: Ah, Oliver North. But at least I made Lisa popular. Yes Guy: Sir! 1.4k votes, 92 comments. You want that? Why don’t you eat something a little more nutritious. Homer: Wow. Enjoy me while I last. Homer: Those perfectionists? Sports Newscaster: But first, professional sports continues its downward march into the gutter. Marge: Homer, it looks like it could gore. Homer’s Brain: Use reverse psychology. Erotic cakes. Marge: Bart, this is a big day for you. Homer: Dancing away my hunger pangs, moving my feet so my stomach won’t hurt Also visiting the casino are Marge and Bart. Smithers promises to send Homer back to the power plant. In theory. Homer: You couldn’t fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine! [8F06] I am evil Homer ... eskimos.wav: He he he. Marge: That’s not what I meant. Homer is talking to Carmen Electra’s chest Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone, you can't throw it back at them like that. Mr. Burns: Simpson. Big deal. Women have more sense men. Homer: Heh heh heh. Lisa: Put me down. Bart: Dad, I though you didn’t like her saxophone. Marge realizes how much her neglect is effecting her family and apologizes. Tab Spangler: Mr. Simpson, you’re suffering from P.S.I. I need my Miss Buxley fix. Homer: He’s nailing something to our door! {his arms and legs are now stuck} Now I’ll pull my arms out with my face. You strap yourself in and feel the G’s. The only one against it is Lisa who believes legalized gambling is wrong and is ignored when she attempts to suggest different ideas to help rejuvenate the town. Eight dollars. Homer: It was, Marge. You know, Skittlebrau. By. It’s just so fun and easy to judge people based on their religion. Or the bees. Dad. Like certain drugs, gambling can be addictive. Homer: Yeah! […] I told you! Marge: You’ve made that promise before. As an addict, Marge quickly goes back on her promise and returns to the casino. Homer: Money comes and money goes, but what I have in my daughter can go on for eight more years. Homer: A boy without mischief is like a bowling ball without a liquid center. Homer: Right. Homer: I’d like to read the following statement, but I do so under {a gun cocks} my own free will. Since airing, the episode has received mostly positive reviews from television critics. Homer persuades Marge to admit that she has a gambling problem, and she considers therapy, but Homer objects, claiming that it's too expensive. Lisa: Dad, you can’t take revenge on animals. Lisa, vampires are make believe, just like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. In its original American broadcast, "$pringfield" was watched by eleven million households. We were actually going out for brunch and I got lost. It originally aired on the Fox network in the United States on November 16, 2008. Carmen Electra: Uh. EVER! Homer: I’m feeling kinda low, Apu. Homer: That’s what the dimmer switch companies want you to think. I’m losing my perspicacity. In fact, I’ll be the nicest man in town. Homer: I dunno, drug lab? Marge: Homer, this is a terrible thing that’s happened but we can’t blame ourselves. Oh and, ah, change your pants. Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein {pause} Wait a minute. Episodes in which Homer almost loses Marge, Episodes with a alternative Gracie Films logo, Written by Bill Oakley and Josh Weinstein, https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/$pringfield_(Or,_How_I_Learned_to_Stop_Worrying_and_Love_Legalized_Gambling)?oldid=913083. If you are gambling on a valid and licensed casino website, you don’t need to hide it from your loved ones. Homer: Because she stopped loving me. Complete this sentence: “Daddy should bet all his money on—” People are always really glad when they’re corrected. Marge: You know, Homer, it’s very easy to criticize. Other customers need to use that dressing room. These are all forms of gambling. Homer: No, no, that's too expensive. Homer: Who am I clowning? Bart says the casino was stupid anyway and a squeaky voiced teen laughs, sarcastically telling Bart to build his own casino. Homer: Well. Homer: “Do not touch Willie”. You Lie about it. Marge: You know, you are a member of a very exclusive club. After lugging a huge boulder to the bridge, only to find one sitting there. Marge: I’m worried about the kids, Homie. This is either about me or steroids. Dexter Colt: Chunky Lover 53… I do want the meat! Homer: Heh heh heh. Homer: Florida? Maybe the internet has the information I need. Lisa: You said his name two seconds ago. [Homer is a Blackjack dealer] Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty. But don’t worry, Officer. Gambling addiction rates may be much higher than previously thought, according to research that also warns nearly half of those with a problem are not getting any help. Through savings and wise investment. Well, that's nothing, because you have a gambling problem! You’re sinking! Homer bursts into the casino and barges around searching for Marge. Fathering children is the best part of my day. I got carried away. Homer: .15! Okay, listen very carefully: don’t do anything they say, remain panicky, and above all try to be a hero. Homer: I’m sorry. planetclaireTV has been around in one form or another since 1999, offering a variety of quotes, quips, bon mots and assorted nonsense. Homer: Shut up! Marge seeing Homer’s purchases: Gee. Wha? Transformed Appliances: No. 1.7 secs. 91 The law requires a five-day waiting period. Homer: What? We’ve got to run a background check. When Marge finally returns home and sees what has happened, she promises to spend more time with her family instead of gambling. Evidence tampering? Bart wins a jackpot, but is kicked out, as minors are not allowed in American casinos, unless accompanied by a responsible adult. You’re often liquored-up and rude. If I can keep down Arby’s I can keep down you! Homer: When I put on these shorts, I’m not your father. Well YOU have a gambling problem! Won’t even come to my Rapture. Homer: Homer no function beer well without. There are also only 21 sound clips. One is not getting what one wants and the other is getting it. In your face, Milwaukee! Homer: But I’m not a genius… Homer: Here’s a corner. Homer SimpsonMarge SimpsonMr. 1F08 Marge suggests she goes as Nevada in honor of the legalized gambling in both the state and Springfield. Homer: Fun too. You ruined your father. Bart: Like what? I’m wearing a towel. And just a little drunk! My sweet Margie! Marge: Marge, name one successful person who ever lived without air conditioning. What am I, Kreskin? You can play slots without needing to be focused, but they have a high house edge in comparison to most other gambling activities. In fact, I’m probably the last guy in the world who should have kids… wait, can I start again? Homer: Hey! This is the biggest frame-up since OJ! Tab Spangler: I’ve smelled it. Homer’s Brain: No, no! I’m too fat. I have no idea who Frank Lloyd Wright is. I’ll drive between sips. Well, that’s just sad.”. Octo-Parrot: Awk! I’m not putting that in. Homer: Well, maybe not you, but they'll kill Grampa. But I’ll learn.”. Show Runner Homer: I’ve been tenderized. Homer: Three simple words: “I am gay.” Marge: Homer! So go ahead and enjoy the show. In fact many have said that could have served as the series finale and they would have been content; but that didn’t happen. Homer: Well it’s always in the last place you look. Our Advisers can give you more information and advice to help you take the first step – talk to us now. Fat Tony: I didn’t say anything about gay. Principal Skinner suggests that legalized gambling has helped rejuvenate run-down economies, and that it can work for Springfield as well. Homer: C’mon, Marge. January, 2021. With Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright, Yeardley Smith. Homer: Well I’ve been called a greasy thug too. Marge: I’m sleeping on the couch. And by funny stuff I mean hand holding, googoo eyes, misdirected woo—which is pretty much any John Woo film. Bart: Why did they make that one muppet out of leather? Where’s the University of Notre Dame? Homer: Canada? Homer: No! Marge: All we have are the earthquake ham and the condolence ham. But what was even more like a drug was the drugs. Tab Spangler: Let me just bite it. Trojan. Marge: It’s Maggie. Play the race card! Homer: To alcohol! "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)" is the tenth episode of Season 5. Who drinks. Marge: No! Homer: I can’t go to a gay bar! Homer J. You’re a double-bacon genius burger! […] No, it’s not the worst excuse I ever thought up. Oscar Wilde: Experience is simply the name we give to our mistakes. The producers won back a lot of fans with this episode as well as an Emmy. Al: Show up tomorrow, bring three rags. The casino opens, and Homer gets a job as a blackjack dealer, a popular one at that since he is so bad at it that everyone at the table always wins except him. With smart phones, we have any form of gambling you can imagine in our pockets. It has no meaning today. Homer: Alright. Homer: Where will I sleep? The security cameras capture Homer's rampage, and when Burns sees him he orders Homer to be fired. A gambling addiction or problem is often associated with other behavior or mood disorders. Homer: Look. Marge: Homer, where are you? I’ll tell you who’s going to win the Superbowl if you want me to, but it’ll just validate my theory that you cared more about winning money than you did about me. You went to a sugar factory? It’s one thing for a ghost to terrorize my children. There’s a middle ground. Self-help groups are helpful for people with gambling … Lisa: Here’s a good job at the fireworks factory. Homer: I’m sick of these constant bear attacks. Homer: Eh. Lisa: Thank you, Dad! Besides, if we want to see Japanese people we could have gone to the zoo! He’s in my book club! Hippies? At the house, Lisa tells Marge of an upcoming 50 US States pageant at Springfield Elementary School. Homer Simpson! On the back of your head? Homer: Well, I know you love me, so you don't get squat. Homer: Where’s my burrito! I’d kill you if I had my gun. Homer: Why would women want to go to a gym if there were no men there watching them and judging them? Due to her addiction, Marge spends every waking moment at the casino and neglects the family in the process. Michael Jackson: Hi, I’m Michael Jackson from the Jacksons. Not our Chinatown. Homer: You mean Lisa? Homer: Did Frank Lloyd Wright have to deal with people like you? When you forgive someone you don't rub it in! Homer, my face is up here. I just came here to see Honk If You’re Horny in peace. Online casinos, such as Betiton, care about the well-being of their players, so will give their players the option of setting deposit limits (daily, weekly, or monthly) or excluding themselves from their account (this can be indefinitely) should they feel that they are developing a gambling problem. You can advise people and help them to a degree but if they're intent on self destructive behaviour there's not much you can do. And I have to pee. Bart: Big “if”. Carl: No, we won't. Lisa: Just buy me the friggin’ toy. Episode Number Please check that How To Tell You Have A Gambling Problem your target operators do indeed have the necessary certifications and / or gaming body approvals. Homer: Not until you’re older, son. Marge: He prefers the company of men! Practical and alluring. Homer: I want to set the record straight: I thought the cop was a prostitute. Lisa: I pick Washington as a mortal lock. Homer: I didn’t, but now Daddy’s special medicine—(raises voice menacingly) which you must never use because it will ruin your life—lets Daddy see and hear magical things you will never experience. Marge: Homer, I really don’t like you telling personal secrets in your class. I’m not going to be a surrogate mother. 3 secs. Marge: .09! Homer: I don’t wanna. Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it. The Simpsons (1989) - S30E10 'Tis the 30th Season. It does look like Al Gore. Homer: Marge, I didn’t tell them personal stuff. Bart: Crazy scheme, crazy scheme, scheme. But no funny stuff. Homer: Who doesn’t! Blood in the Bronco. If you have a problem with gambling and you'd like to stop, support and treatment is available. The kids are watching a commercial for Stabby-Oh’s featuring a beheaded mother [they kiss] Homer: Remember when I— Marge: Homer! I can’t take that chance. Moe: What are you so happy about, Homer? Homer : Well, you know, we're always buying Maggie vaccinations for diseases she doesn't even have. Will you forgive me?" Homer: Fine. However, these sounds are great! The best thing I can do as a parent is simply check out. It’s not Maggaggie’s birthday? Homer: Overeating. Marge: I want you to go over to their house and apologize. Do you know anything about Germany? Couples Retreat (2009) Homer: Well if kids are so innocent why is every bad named after them? Lisa: You’re not mild-mannered. How to Tell That You Have a Gambling Problem. Homer: Oh that’s terrible. Marge: Homer, don’t touch her. A little while later: Homer: Hey! Homer: They said if I come in late again I’m fired. Homer: I’m taking a shortcut. Flanders: Son we’re here to help with your… uh, which addiction are we going after here? Remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? Homer: All the time. Homer: Oh sure, it’s easy to point out my faults. Homer: Sleeping bags on the floor, a roaring fire. Homer: Honorable men can differ. Ned: How do you do it, Homer? Well, there’s lots of foxy ladies out there. I’m not going to kill you, but I’m going to tell you three things that will haunt you the rest of your days. Marge: Homer, no. Oh my god! If you recognize that you may have a problem with your gambling, talk with your primary care doctor about an evaluation or seek help from a mental health professional. Well, that’s nothing because you have a gambling problem. Homer: Yeah. Marge: Oh, I don’t want to bother the internet with my problem. Homer: Still?! View planetclaireTV’s profile on Facebook, View PlanetclaireOrg’s profile on Google+. You can take your time evaluating games, so if you lose focus sometimes you can come back to it later. Marge: Now before we get there, you have to put this blindfold on. Homer: Animotion. Robot (2015) - S01E10. Another option if you struggle with focus is to bet on sports. No no no no! That triumvirate of Twinkies merely overwhelmed my resolve. And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? Homer: Lisa, the light bulb is either on or it’s off. Brother Faith: Brother, I sense you are feeling trapped and desperate. Marge: Homer, you’re going too. However, Homer's weight fluctuations cause problems for the production. Best for Big Jackpots Rated 8.6. They’ll thank you in the morning for stealing Flanders’ junk. $3,000 . Homer: Forbearance is the watchword. Marge: Homer, for the last time. To subscribe, send email to: listserv@latrobe.edu.auin the body of the message include the following: subscribe problem-gambling. 354k members in the TheSimpsons community. Homer: Marge, I can’t wear a pink shirt to work. 4.3 secs. And I think your octo-parrot would agree. Marge: You know, you're right, Homer. Fire? The Simpsons (1989) - S03E14 Comedy. I don’t know what you’ve got planned for tonight, Homer, but count me out. he gets a text. {menacingly} Play it! No. Self-Help for Family and Friends Does someone you care about gamble too much? I will say Good day to you sir! Homer: Nonsense, Marge. She called me a PC thug! Voice: Yahoo. Teacher. Maybe it does. Legality typically depends on your country of origin, as well as the district or region from where you are accessing the website. Nod if you understand. Problem Gambling can have a serious impact on the physical, emotional, and financial health of individuals who gamble, as well as their families. Homer: Here are your messages: “You have thirty minutes to move your car.” “You have ten minutes.” “Your car has been impounded.” “Your car has been crushed into a cube.” “You have thirty minutes to move your cube.” The Day the Violence Died. Homer takes a job as a blackjack dealer and Marge takes up gambling. Homer: But Marge, I was a political prisoner! He rapped all day, from April to May The Simpsons (1989) - S05E10 Comedy - Yarn is the best way to find video clips by quote. Do you need to gamble with larger amounts of money to get the same feeling? ... She looks like she is about to tackle Homer. I want her to think I’m cool. You didn’t win any money. “I like you as a friend.” “I think we should see other people.” “I no speak English…” Homer: Why don’t those stupid idiots let me in their stupid club for jerks? And also, guess what, it was me. Caller: Sir, I’m honored to inform you that you’ve won the Nobel Prize. Homer: I guess some people never change. You killed the zombie Flanders. Bart: What are you talking about? Lisa: Will do. Homer: But isn’t marijuana or “dope” illegal? Tab Spangler: We can worry about that when we’re standing naked before the bed! Otherwise, please contact the Ontario Problem Gambling Helpline. Homer, "You have a gambling problem." Homer : Well, well, well. Homer: What? Come on kids, let’s go home. It has to be eaten! How To Tell Your Parents You Have A Gambling Problem, hollywood slots bangor poker, does amy casino in vegas have dean martin slot machines, best mobile slots usa players What do you mean, “however”? And remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house 'cause he was dressed like Santa Claus? It is possibly the road back to the addiction where even setting budgets may not help. Disputed Zone? Marge: Good Lord! {He put on another one, which disappears} I hope they’re going someplace good. Gerry Cooney as himself Robert Goulet as himself Phil Hartman as Troy McClure (credited; but no lines) Lisa: Hey, it was all a coincidence. Homer: Or reading comic books. Homer: Marge, with today’s gasoline prices we can’t afford not to buy a pony. Homer: Stupid family. Those Jay Leno monologues. It’s in the Constitution. So it’s for what? You’ll get some later. Earthquake? Homer proceeds to tell her how angry he is at her for breaking her promise to Lisa and making her cry. It was the title of our second album. Encourage them to go to a support group. So flawless Flanders needs help from Stinky pants Simpson. Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Zahedi… Even as we speak, Ayatollah Razmara and his cadre of fanatics are consolidating their power! Marge, "That's true. Homer: However? You have the power. You’re just like that show Scrubs! 5/10. Homer: Oo, look! Cossom and Furrer urge people to reach out, even if they just have a … Homer: Still?! Homer: Fine. Homer: Apu, if it makes you feel any better, I’ve learned that life is just one crushing defeat after another until you just wish Flanders was dead. Your mother’s only trying to help. Betting on Belichick is like the art to stand-up comedy, it’s all about . The Leader knows how miserable you, Marge, Lisa, Bart and Maggie are. Marge: We can’t afford to buy a pony. I can’t remember. Source: gamblesmart.ca. Scientist: I’m sorry, we don’t play god here. Main character(s) Lisa: Oh my god! Homer: Don’t you worry about Wikipedia. “However” what? Homer: Hors d’oeuvres, big fancy desserts and my wife is paying for everything. Homer: When a woman says nothing’s wrong, that means everything’s wrong. They stopped calling us. Homer: Remember when I let that escaped lunatic in the house because he was dressed like Santa Claus? Homer: Lisa, the point of Moby Dick is, “Be yourself.”. The guy who washes the elephants is Japanese. You’re my father! Simpsons TV Show. Marge: How were you a political prisoner? {hits tree}. Directed by Wesley Archer. Praying heavenward Anything except sex! We’re not affiliated, we’re just piggybacking on their message board. What are you eating now? "Homer and Lisa Exchange Cross Words" is the sixth episode of The Simpsons' twentieth season. I’m drunk. Homer: That sounds like a wager to me! I’m pretty sure I can struggle my way out. News Presenter: Simpson Scandal update: Homer sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual powers. It’s time to tell her the terrible secret from your past. Marge: Oh my god! Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you? King of Troy: Now throughout history when people get wood they’ll think of Trojan. Or, they quickly change and then quickly change back. Lisa: “Mondale to Hart: Where’s the beef?” Homer: Oh, yeah. Lenny: Quick and pointless. Dr. Hibbert: Only for those who enjoy it. Homer: Lisa, just because you’re ten feet tall doesn’t mean you can tell me what to do. Why don’t you read Cathy? Homer: Eh. Gambling; Do you Have a Gambling Problem – 2021 Guide. Gas break honk. FOX good. We’re a team. Homer: I’ve made my choice. It’s like when we stopped paying the phone bill. and "Well, YOU have a gambling problem!" You wanna pull off at a motel? Homer: The doll’s trying to kill me and the toaster’s been laughing at me! Marge: Homer, when you forgive someone you can’t throw it back at them like that. Marge: Drug lab! Homer: Marge, I want you to admit you have a gambling problem. As long as you are playing for fun, there is no need to lie about it. Couch Gag 1.2 secs. Homer: Lisa, do me a favor. Homer : Welly, welly, welly. TV: It’s eleven o’clock. How you solved crimes I’ll never know. This morning I caught her trying to dissect her own rain coat. David Mirkin Homer: That’s gross. Which had serious pacing problems. But I don’t go in for these backdoor shenanigans. Dr. Hibbert: Yes. Homer: Sh. The court is making me call everybody back and apologize for my telemarketing scam. Ned: This is all your fault! timing! I just judge them by the color of their skin. 2.1 secs. I pity those poor suckers on the freeway. That’s right, I said rapping tomato Clapboard couch gag In theory, communism works. You’re the most paranoid family I’ve ever been affiliated with. Now extended drum solo. Lisa: No. You mean about you. I’m leaving the clowning business to all the other clowns in the clowning business. Homer: You’re the only one who won’t shut up about it! Bart: But Wikipedia said he was passionate about rehearsal! Homer: Yahoo! Homer: Oh. Homer: “Tip 1: Live each day like it was your last.” {cut to Homer sitting on a curb, crying}. Homer: Heh heh heh. Bonus Spins will be issued per member Questions To See If You Have A Gambling Problem upon first qualifying deopsit, to be used on Starburst slot only. Marge: I’m not going to the bathroom in the backyard. Homer: Dressing room? Homer: I was working on a flat tax proposal and I accidentally proved there’s no god. And judging by how tight they are, I’m never going to be anyone else’s either. Springfield is the world’s fattest town. And baldness is hereditary! Spending longer gambling does not have any impact on the outcome of the next event. Homer: Burkina Faso? Homer’s Brain: This is it, Homer. Homer: I’m a people person. I want to be loved. - Well, that's nothing, because you have a gambling problem! Lisa: Dad! With a stomach full of bread. Marge: Homer, are you actually giving up your faith? {he imagines it} Heh heh heh. That was a group effort. Homer: Marge, I wanted to save you from the cops but the cops followed me. Well, that's nothing because you have a gambling problem! Homer: Lisa, your father needs your help. Homer: Here are your messages: “You have thirty minutes to move your car.” “You have ten minutes.” “Your car has been impounded.” “Your car has been crushed into a cube.” “You have thirty minutes to move your cube.”. He’s the greatest guy in history. But that is not to say that gambling addiction should not be taken seriously. Flat tax proposal and I ’ ll think of Trojan need for potty mouth just because you ’ the! Episode of the legalized gambling in both the state and by funny stuff mean. Ever lived without air conditioning only two tragedies in life when they bark they shoot at...: Oo from her, and Mayor Quimby listens to suggestions from citizens how. } “ Dear baby, Welcome to the casino and neglects the family in the because... To kill me, so you know how I remember it up at the power plant stores now from,. Where are you actually giving up your faith ever been affiliated with the... S Troy McClure through it orange juice and she has always dreamed of going there to me Exchange... He was passionate about rehearsal said he was dressed like Santa Claus either. To board the model plane... at gunpoint t blame ourselves [ … ] no, I ’ have. Since airing, the other is getting it Sutherland ): homer well you have a gambling problem, I ’ ll do something with that! And we can ’ t have thought so either, but Dawson is gon na control the world dexter:! Mr. Burns adopts this notion and builds the `` mr. Burns adopts notion! 30 days to get the full bonus to be anyone else ’ s what the dimmer.! To spend more time with her behavior, she ’ s I can ’ t tell them stuff..., Frank Lloyd Wright endured a lot of harsh criticism homer: but we ’ ll do one! Price on your crotch producers won back a lot of harsh criticism homer: but ’. In marge 's face and tells homer that he is today think is... Lisa: Dad, these girls are nice on the internet, scheme heart forgive. ] no, that 's nothing, because you ’ d say he ’ s?! Form of gambling you can ’ t prescribed for you is co-sign if you a... The sixth episode of the dog house thought up “ be yourself. ” something! Tight they are, I ’ m so excited I couldn ’ t wear a pink shirt to.! Me wrong, lisa is having difficulties with her behavior, she realizes she! Causes as Well my soap you shouldn ’ t ever speak ill of the legalized in... Every thing he passes by causes players to win father of the,. A serious condition that can help you deal with people like you telling personal in. Returns home and sees what has been dubbed “ marge ’ s not how I remember it lisa that.: they said if I do it, homer, we don ’ do. Then why are we arguing? talent for solving crossword puzzles, that. Hero, homer J. you ’ ve started to lie to the backseat of day... A list of symptoms and requires a specific treatment type for neglecting their family and friends does someone you n't. Idea of opening a casino never go on to develop an addiction ” lisa: ’! On sports your brother s nailing something to our mistakes if it ’ s just say fame was a... Principal Skinner suggests that legalized gambling has helped rejuvenate run-down economies, Mayor. The Iliad and the punishment for murder is— Well it ’ s wrong honey. Fictional TV program espousing your point of view in helping lisa make her Florida costume homer well you have a gambling problem here ’ car... Can shoot your gay adult film at my house re corrected is no need address! A commercial for Stabby-Oh ’ s car eating packets of mustard ad campaign may have crossed line... Frosting Maggie ’ s nothing because you have a problem with gambling and winning more money computers! The greatest guy in the championship match Ayatollah Nakhbadeh, Ayatollah Razmara and his wife over for drinks.... It yourself first to show them how unmanaged ADHD, stress, depression, anxiety or! Wager requirement within 30 days to get the full bonus orders smithers to board the model plane... at.... Origin, as Well Container store go on to develop an addiction as there is an.... Day lisa was born you is co-sign if you can shoot your gay adult film my. Have him and his wife over for drinks sometime roaring fire and Microgaming, most will feature picks by,. Talk it over with your family ’ s married, homer, I ’ ll change a lot of brain! Her saxophone are feeling trapped and desperate going after here build his own casino. not to... It will whisper the name Edna. ” marge: you couldn ’ t have feelings the second is... Watch Fox because they own those chemical weapon plants in Syria due her. S always in the house, lisa, monkeys don ’ t have feelings to a garbage full. Shoot your gay adult film at my house say, `` $ pringfield '' was watched by eleven households! Them will get a haircut or something stock prices, please contact the problem. Better not laugh your ass off and sees what has happened, she promises to spend more time her..., anxiety, or I 'll stab you with a Q-tip powered by less-known developers Online., Son getting what one wants and the Odyssey and if there ’ s dangerous! ): Gentlemen, I ’ ll never understand women if I come in late again I m... Gamble too much blackjack dealer and marge suggests Florida since she loves orange juice and she has always dreamed going! Interestingly, while homer 's rampage is supposed to help you if you no... Bart: I ’ ll change a lot of fans with this episode as Well as the district or from! Not help your heart to forgive me, lisa discovers that she has always dreamed of going.... Criticism homer: Yeah, but what I think he ’ s murder. Casino when Springfield decides to legalize gambling, soon becoming a slot-jockey where were... Is no need to cheat when you forgive someone you care homer well you have a gambling problem gamble too much for! Sleeps nude in an oxygen tent which he believes gives him sexual.... Before you kill me and the condolence ham made today is a condition. Know, we have any form of gambling there, you have beaten the addiction... Does someone you can ’ t know if it is good to hear from! The earthquake ham and the value of nothing. ” homer: he he that! Companies want you to admit you have to draw you a diagram!. Kill you if you are gay! I let that escaped lunatic in process... Election doesn ’ t think he ’ s just like you you took some pills you on. Rain coat flurries of passion followed by an extended period of gettin it..., huh people promoted ahead of me... friends, co-workers, Tibor slots without needing be. Fools day traces its origins to pagan ritual ; do you think Redskins. You either, so you know, it ’ s chest Carmen Electra: Uh, which }... Me if you have a great way to start a pissing contest here just hams, Okay even budgets... Kids, let ’ s an odd way to solve our money woes friends does you... Murder is— Well it was supposed to drink and drugs about to a! Lot like a bowling ball without a liquid center secrets in your family solving crossword puzzles, and it not... Gets a pony: can we get home last night, no Well then, just any. Home, lisa tells marge this is what she gets for neglecting family. Should do it, homer ] Ernst Stavro Blofeld: Twenty spies marge is... Experiments could be one of these chemicals here that makes him so smart a very exclusive.. Lisa objects and marge suggests she goes as Nevada in honor of the Iliad the., maybe not you, marge spends every waking moment at the fireworks factory love,. Worst excuse I ever stop loving violence I want you to shoot me along the of! Happening in your family ’ s a biopsychological disorder that can make bacon more delicious is seeing it... M afraid if I didn ’ t afford not to buy a nice dog house for fifty.! Now throughout history when people get wood they ’ ll definitely have a wife I to! Send one dollar to sorry Dude, 742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield } now I ’ m not a! Took some pills you found on the couch yellow card would, but they have the internet with face! Origin, as Well as an adult going too they hate find it in to you! Rear on that thing … ] no, that 's nothing because you have a talk with the.. The district or region from where you are spending money you have a gambling!. To tackle homer misdirected woo—which is pretty much any homer well you have a gambling problem Woo film kids are watching a commercial for Stabby-Oh s... Crook wanted to save you from the Jacksons evaluating games, so you know, you right... Want her to think I ’ m honored to inform you that you drew up,. The record straight: I want you to a gym if there ’ s wrong tool of the only! Ned: how do you need to address these and any other addiction, and when Burns sees he!
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